I'll Give you the World
by spangs
Summary: Ashley's life is not what she thought it would be. Will she change it for the better ?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It will be a short story, 4 or 5 parts, I think. And it should be completed by the end of the week. I'm still working on my other story, but right now I'm taking a breather with it because I'm not really inspired at the moment.**

**Anyway, I hope you can enjoy this little short story... Feedback is appreciated. **

**I'll Give you the World**

**Part 1 – Berlin, Germany**

As Ashley made her way through the crowd, she sighed… She was getting sick of hanging out in packed clubs where there was barely any space to move. She was suffocating. She heard a voice call after her but her mind forced her to keep going. She needed air more than anyting else at the moment. As she pushed the door, the cold fresh air hit her in the face and a sigh of relief passed through her lips. It felt great. She took a few steps and started to relax. Sometimes, she wondered what all this was about. The partying, the drinking, the meaningless sex with girls that just wanted to fuck a rockstar. She never imagined 7 years ago, when she was fresh out of high school that her life would turn out to be exactly like it was 3 years prior her meeting with Spencer Carlin. She had worked so hard to change who she was for Spencer and at times like this, she felt she was right back where she started. It's funny how Spencer managed to pop up in her mind once in a while to remind her of a life that was eluding her.

Her own ambition had gotten in the way and she wanted Spencer to be part of her plan, perhaps out of selfishness. And for a while, it had been working, at least for her. She had everything, the money, the fame and the girl. But at the time, she didn't realize what she was doing, keeping Spencer locked in a golden cage. She had been hurting her more than anything else. But fortunately, she came to her senses, although a bit too late, the damage was already done. The spark in Spencer's eyes had disappeared and when one night, Ashley saw it clear as day, she felt the guilt like she never had before. She had caused this spark to disappear. She knew Spencer loved her and had sacrificed a lot to follow Ashley and her dream. She had risked it all and lost herself in the process. Ashley knew that Spencer had always risked it all for Ashley, even when they started dating, fighting with her mom and brother for her relationship with Ashley to be recognized like Clay's love for Chelsea or Paula's marriage to Arthur. Spencer had always put Ashley first, but Ashley realized too late that she never put Spencer first, that she had always put her ambition and her own needs first, she decided that enough was enough. She needed to release Spencer and let her spread her wings the way she was meant to. Because Spencer was never meant to be locked in a cage, away from the world. She was meant to experience every single drop of happiness the world had to offer. So, Ashley did the hardest thing she ever had to do, she let Spencer go free 5 years ago, telling lies after lies, breaking her heart in the process so that Spencer would stop fighting for a relationship that was destroying her. And Ashley had never recovered from that. Mainly because she still had hope that one day, their paths would cross one more time and if she was given that chance again, she would get it right this time.

And right now, standing outside of a gay club in Berlin, Germany, where her latest date on her tour took her, Ashley had had enough. She needed to breathe, she needed to find her way home, she needed to find the person that she knew she could be, the person she had been before all this started.

As Ashley's mind was flashing back to simpler times, the voice that tried to stop her a few moments ago, resonated next to her.

"Hello, Earth to Ashley ? Can you hear me ?"

Ashley shook her head and looked into the gentle brown eyes of her sister. She smiled at her sadly and saw kyla's face soften considerably and saw the understanding spread across her features. Kyla and Ashley had become masters at this, non verbal communication. They had been getting closer and closer after Spencer's departure from Ashley's life. Mainly because of Ashley being heartbroken but also because Kyla was the only constant from Ashley's old life.

"Had enough, big sis ?" Kyla whispered softly. "Time to go home ?"

Ashley knew what Kyla meant and she felt her eyes burning and a tear on her cheek. She nodded and found comfort in her sister's arms.

"I'll call the airline tomorrow morning to get us out of here. I think a visit to Ohio is in order. I'll tell Ethan that we're postponing the rest of the European Tour."

"He's not going to like it!" she sobbed.

"Let me handle it, Ash." Kyla answered simply. She knew that her sister was at the end of her rope and it was time for a little Carlin TLC.

Kyla called the car to get Ashley back to the hotel and went back inside to deal with Ethan. He practically became purple when Kyla told her that Ashley was going back home and Kyla found it extremely funny. After half an hour, Kyla finally calmed him down. After all, they were just postponing and Ashley was not just a one hit wonder so, it wouldn't affect her that much.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2 – Millbury, Ohio**

2 days later, after a pit stop in LA to gather some stuff, Kyla and Ashley were on the road to Ohio. Kyla was driving and Ashley was lost in her thoughts. Silence was the main character of this little movie but that's how they liked it from time to time. Because, there was nothing to say after all.

After a while, Ashley finally decided to speak and the first thing that came out of her mouth didn't surprise Kyla the slightest.

"Are you sure she won't be there ?" she asked almost whispering like it hurt to ask somehow. Or perhaps, that was because she knew the answer to the question that it hurt.

"Yes, I checked with Arthur. She's trekking somewhere in the Andes."

A smile started to spread across Ashley's features. When she let Spencer go into the world, she had no idea she would literally spread her wings all over the world. From East to West and North to South, Spencer had travelled almost everywhere. After their breakup, Ashley had kept in touch with the Carlins and through them she had followed what Spencer was up to. She had learned that her girl had landed a very sought after job at National Geographic as a photographer. And after that, all she had to do was buy the magazine to follow Spencer's trail. From Paris to Tokyo, from Cairo to Sydney and the Great Barrier Reef, from Reykjavik to Cape Town, from Moscow to Samoa, Spencer had been everywhere taking pictures and doing what she was meant to do. Sharing the beauty of the world as seen through the most beautiful blue eyes Ashley had ever seen in her life.

"ok..." Ashley answered half hearteadly, not sure of what else she was supposed to say. Kyla smiled at her, knowing exactly what was going through her sister's mind at the moment.

The rest of the trip to Ohio went fine, the sisters took their time to enjoy the quiet and to relax as much as they could. They stopped in low key hotels outside of big cities in order to avoid the paparazzi and fans. They got recognized a few times but no big deal. Ashley was used to fans coming up to her and asking for pictures or autographs.

As they finally pulled up in front of a small house in the town of Millbury, Ohio, Ashley smiled. Funny how such a small house in the middle of nowhere could be the center of the universe for her. Kyla and Ashley started getting their bags out of the trunk when the front door opened and a tall man with Salt and Pepper hair and a smile across his face walked to them. He opened his arms and engulfed both girls in a hug.

"Arthur, let them breathe!" chimed in a voice after a moment. Ashley lift her her eyes and was met with blue eyes and blonde hair. Almost like the ones she lost a few years ago, but not quite the same.

"Paula. How are you ? It's so nice to see you. I missed you." Said Ashley smiling.

"You too, Ash. We missed you too. I'm so happy you guys decided to come see us for a few days."

"Yeah, we needed some down time and what better way to relax than with you guys." Added Kyla laughing.

Arthur helped with the bags as Paula led the Davies sisters inside the house. After everything that happened in LA, between an almost divorce and Clay's death, the Carlins decided to go back to where they were truly happy. Before LA took their innocence, their purity and tainted them a little. So after Spencer graduated from high school, the Carlins packed their bags back to Ohio. Glen had followed suite and enrolled into Ohio State and Spencer had stayed with Ashley and enrolled in UCLA, losing herself more and more each day.

As Ashley looked around the house, she saw that nothing else had changed since the last time she was there a few months ago. It was welcoming, warm and always an intense experience for her. She loved the Carlins like they were her own parents. She may have had a more than rocky beginning with Paula but everything had been forgiven and now she considered the woman more of a mother figure than her own biological mother who never showed one ounce of affection towards her. And she knew the feeling was returned because despite her being out of Spencer's life, they were still by her side when she needed them.

"Ashley, why don't you go upstairs settle your stuff, take a shower or something. You must be tired from the trip." said Arthur.

"If you don't mind, I think I'll do that. I'm in a dire need of a shower." She smiled at the man standing in front of her who had replaced her father when she needed advice and comfort.

Ashley walked upstairs and opened the door to the guest room. She looked around the room and put her bag next to the desk. She knew that this room was used by Spencer when the girl was visiting her parents and sometimes she swore she could still smell the unique scent that was Spencer's. Also, the pictures hanging on the wall did nothing to dull the ache because they were pictures of places Spencer had been, of where Ashley should have been with her. She sighed in frustration as she remembered the promise she once made to Spencer when they were 18 years old, the night of their high school graduation.

_Ashley led Spencer, who was blindfolded, by the hand towards the narrow path. _

"_Be careful, Babe. Not too fast." Ashley said softly. "We're almost there."_

_She just saw Spencer's smile spread across her face. It was infectious. She couldn't help but smile back even though at the moment the object her affection couldn't see that smile. _

_She heard Spencer laugh softly. _

"_What are you laughing at, Babe ?" Ashley asked. _

"_Because I can actually hear you smile and it makes me so happy."_

_Ashley looked at Spencer and stopped in her tracks. "I want to kiss you right now."_

"_Good." Just smiled Spencer. "The day you won't want to kiss me, I'll be worried."_

"_I don't think I'll ever stop wanting to kiss you. It's impossible."_

_Ashley closed the gap between her and a blindfolded Spencer and kissed her girlfriend intensely. She heard the younger girl moaning and it only added fuel to the fire within Ashley, who deepened the kiss. In that second, she couldn't even fathom not having Spencer in her life. She swore that in that second she knew what perfect happiness felt like. _

_The need for air broke the spell that had taken over. Both girls smiling, foreheads touching. _

"_You know that in that second I can't actually see your eyes, but the funny thing is I know exactly what they look like right now." Spencer said. _

_Ashley slowly took the blindfold off Spencer's eyes, only to be met with blue eyes, full of love and devotion. _

"_I knew it..." Spencer just whispered to no one in particular before going in for another soul-searing kiss. _

_Once they broke apart, Spencer looked around and saw that they were standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. Looking at the beautiful sight in front of her, it looked like the world was theirs to conquer, no end in sight. _

"_Wow!" Spencer managed to utter. "that's so beautiful."_

"_Not as much as what I'm looking at." Ashley said, her eyes fixed on Spencer. _

"_Are you trying to seduce me, Miss Davies ?" Spencer asked playfully. _

"_No, I'm just being honest, Spence." Ashley told her seriously. At the tone of her voice, Spencer immediately knew that Ashley was not playing. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I want you to know that. You changed my life, you changed me. I'm so in love with you Spence, you have no idea."_

"_Believe me, I do have an idea." Spencer said, taking Ashley into her arms. "Because I love you, Ash. More than words can express."_

"_I know we're still young Spence and we don't know what tomorrow will bring, but one day, I'll give you the World, Spence. I promise you."_

That night, they made love like never before. Remembering all that, Ashley felt her eyes watering. She had broken every promise she ever made to Spencer. She never gave her the world, instead she locked her in a cage. She let her stupid career be her first priority and she single handedly destroyed the only person she ever loved and for that she would never forgive herself.

Ashley sighed in frustration and headed for the bathroom.

Downstairs, a frowning Paula was looking at Kyla. "She looks tired." Paula told Kyla.

"She just doesn't look tired, she's exhausted and to be honest, I think she's miserable. For the past few months, it's like nothing can make her happy. You know how she used to love being on stage, you could feel the passion. Now, I feel it's just like another job to her. I'm worried, Paula."

"Does she have any friends besides you?"

"No, she just hangs out with Ethan and the band. But no real friends. Aiden is always too busy to pick up the godamn phone and Madison is on tour across the country so she's hard to reach these days. And the people she meets are either after her body or her money so she doesn't trust anyone that comes near her."

"What did you guys say to Ethan ?" asked Arthur.

"That we're postponing the tour until further notice. That Ashley needs some downtime. He didn't take it well, but the dates were already sold out so we'll just change the dates instead of canceling. This way the fans are not disappointed because they'll get to see her eventually and Ethan doesn't lose any money."

"Poor Ash." Paula said shaking her head slightly.

"Anyway, so how are you guys ?" asked Kyla trying to change the subject.

"We're good. We both managed to cut down on the hours to spend more time together now that it's just the two of us again."

"Good. And Glen?"

"Glen is as happy as can be. He really found himself in college. We thought he would orient himself towards sport or something like that, but he now he wants to become a teacher. And the biggest news is that he got engaged two months ago." Arthur said

"Really. That's so cool. To that Amy girl we met a year ago ?"

"Yes. They make such a nice couple. They plan to get married in December. But I think Glen will tell you himself because he definitely plans to invite you." Paula continued.

"Does Spencer knows he wants to invite us ?"

"I don't know, she's hard to talk to these days. She's always halfway around the world." Sighed Paula. Kyla didn't miss this small reaction and smiled at Paula, trying to comfort the older woman somehow.

"How is she doing ?"

"To be honest, I couldn't say. She always seems fine when she comes to visit us, with new and exciting stories about the places she just visited, the people she met. But deep down, something isn't right. There's like this permanent sadness in her eyes that never seems to leave." Arthur said sadly.

The three of them remained silent for while, each of their mind working. They all knew that Spencer and Ashley had always been meant for each other and they all waited patiently for the time they would reunite because to them it was inevitable. Like every great love story, it had to have an happy ending. But in the meantime, it was hard to see the pain in their eyes.

The night was spent trying to get Ashley's minds off things. Arthur made a point of cooking Ashley's favorites with Kyla's help. Each of them had one objective, trying to ease Ashley's pain somehow. After dinner, an impromptu game of scrabble finished the evening before the girls headed for bed.

Staring at the ceiling in her bed, Ashley felt conflicted because this house was her sanctuary despite having severed ties with Spencer 5 years ago. The guys in her band always found weird that she still liked to hang out with her ex-girlfriend parents. But to her, it was also a way to hold on to the one remaining link to Spencer. Sometimes, it did feel weird but most of the time she overlooked it. The funny thing is that Spencer knew that Ashley still saw her parents from time to time and never called once to put a stop to this. Even though she hadn't talked to Spencer in 5 years, she could feel that Spencer was still looking after her in a way by allowing this situation, by letting her having this outlet, this semblance of a normal life to come back to. And Ashley was nothing but thankful to the younger woman.

The next few days passed quickly, a little too quickly for Ashley's liking but she seemed to be smiling again. And to Kyla, that was what mattered the most. This is why they came down here in the first place, to catch their breath. As usual Arthur took them fishing and to his surprise Kyla and Ashley were getting better at it. Kyla remembered the first time he took them fishing. It had been a disaster from beginning to end. The girls felt like Arthur was speaking to them in Chinese when he gave them the instructions. And by the end of the day, the three of them had landed head first in the water, wet from head to toe and empty handed of course.

Before they knew it, a week had gone by and the girls were saying their goodbyes to the Carlins with promises to come back soon, at least to celebrate Glen's engagement.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: A big thank you to all of the reviewers. You guys made my day, I'm glad you like the story.  
**

**Part 3.1 – New York City, **_**4 months later **_

When she heard the front door open for the fifteenth time in the matter of 5 minutes, Ashley lift her head up again. Still no Kyla. Why couldn't the girl ever be on time. Ashley had been sitting in there for almost half an hour. Sighing, she went back into her book but unfortunately she wasn't really focusing on it re-reading the same sentence for the umpteenth time. Frustrated, she closed her book when finally Kyla decided to show up.

"Why can't you ever be on time, Ky ? I've been waiting for half an hour. And don't you know how to use your phone ?" she started saying as she got up to meet Kyla.

"Sorry!" Kyla said. "The meeting ran longer than I expected."

Ashley smiled, she couldn't be mad at her sister anyway so what was the point trying. They sat down at the table that Ashley had been occupying for the last half hour.

"So how did it go ?" Ashley asked.

"It went really well. You're going to be the next cover of Rolling Stone. But this time, they want an in-depth interview. Last time, they were introducing you but this time, they want the fans to know "the real Ashley Davies" as they put it".

Immediately Kyla saw the change in Ashley and to be honest she had been expecting it. "Don't worry, Ash. They know that some questions are off-limits." She saw Ashley starting to relax a little and kept filling her in on the rest of the meeting.

"Did you call Ethan, so we all agree on the schedule." Ashley asked remembering the last time and their unfortunate schedule mix-up resulting in two TV interviews being canceled at the last minute promoting her impending US Tour that would start at the beginning of next year.

"Don't worry, I called him when the meeting was over. The photoshoot is scheduled for Wednesday and you will meet with the journalist on Thursday morning. "And guess what." Kyla added excitedly. "They want this issue to be a big hit with your fans so they're having Giulia Gallo do the photoshoot."

"Really!" Ashley said with enthusiasm. She loved the woman's work. "That's good news, I love her work."

"I know, that's why I was so excited when they suggested her for the photoshoot. I think this is going to be great."

Kyla continued filling her in on other details and they decided to go get some lunch in one of Ashley's friends restaurant in Manhattan. They had called Madison who was in town so she could join them for lunch. They hadn't see the girl in 2 months and they were happy to hear all about Madison's stories.

Once the hour and half lunch was over, the girls were walking down the street heading for Ashley and Kyla's appartment. The girls had bought an appartment in New York because they both loved spending time in NYC and it was easier than staying in hotels for weeks at a time. As they were walking, someone out there decided to throw Ashley in for a loop and re-opening wounds that were never healed to beging with.

What got Ashley's attention first was the classic 1970's motorcyle parked between two cars. The red and black bike was really a beautiful sight in itself, like it belonged in some kind of museum. But, as Ashley admired the bike, suddenly it was like everything stood still and the world stopped turning when she saw the owner of the bike appear next to it. Here, in the middle of Manhattan, sporting a black with white stripes leather jacket and tight jeans stood a stunningly beautiful Spencer Carlin.

Ashley couldn't speak, her brain had momentarily left as she took in the beauty of her ex-girlfriend. When Spencer sat down on the motorcycle, Ashley died a little inside at the display in front of her. Spencer had never looked so hot in the entire time she had known her.

Kyla and Madison who hadn't noticed Ashley stopping suddenly realised that Ashley was not behind them anymore. They saw her, frozen in shock a few feet away. Kyla followed Ashley's gaze and noticed the blonde woman on the bike. That woman was probably the hottest thing Kyla had ever seen not that she was gay or anything. But if she had been gay, she would have been all over the woman in a matter of seconds, Kyla thought to herself. Well, until she heard the "Oh My god!" coming from Madison. She looked at Madison who had a worried look on her face and Ashley's shocked look registered in her mind. And suddenly the light seemed to turn on. Kyla took another look at the woman and realized than the one and only Spencer Carlin was standing in front of them.

Kyla and Madison went by Ashley's side who was still frozen, not knowing what to do. This was the last thing either of them expected today. Kyla honestly didn't know what to do, should she get Spencer's attention or should she let her go knowing that this opportunity may never arise again. Her mind and her heart were conflicted and Spencer was about to leave so it was a matter of seconds. Her mind was telling her it couldn't be good for Ashley, she was still too vulnerable when it came to Spencer, but her heart told her this was the moment they had all been waiting and praying for, this was Fate finally answering. She looked at Madison who seemed as confused as she was and before she knew it, Kyla was screaming Spencer's name.

**A/N: The motorcyle I'm refering to in the chapter is a 1978 Triumph Bonneville T140V for those who are curious about it. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N****: New update. Again, thanks for the reviews, I'm happy you guys seem to be with me for the ride and like it so far. Hope this chapter is Ok, it didn't quite turn out the way I intended it to in the first place but hope you like it anyway...**

**Part ****3.2 – New York City**

Ashley seemed to be shaken out of her trance when hearing Kyla yell Spencer's name. Instead of shock, panic started to invade her mind. She had pictured this moment a thousand times in her mind but now that it was actually happening, she was nowhere near ready for it. To her, it was a disaster waiting to happen.

She looked at Spencer who didn't seem to register someone calling her name on the other side of the street. Ashley prayed silently that she wouldn't hear and just leave already when Madison decided to act when she saw that Spencer still remained clueless to someone calling out her name. Madison crossed the street in the middle of traffic causing 2 cars to come to a screeching halt. Horns honking and drivers screaming a few choices of words at Madison and the latina girl apparently yelling back something in spanish seemed to finally get Spencer's attention as to what the commotion was all about.

Ashley gasped as she saw Spencer lift up her head and look directly at Madison. Her first view of these shining blue eyes that she hadn't seen in so long. Confusion seemed to be written all over Spencer's features and suddenly replaced by a smile. And what a smile! To Ashley, it was Heaven on Earth.

Ashley looked at Kyla and hopefully her sister would see that it wasn't the time, she was not ready. But when she saw Kyla's eyes, she saw that her sister had made the decision for her whether she was ready or not. Apparently, it was decided that today was the day Spencer would be back into her life.

She looked again across the street and saw that Madison had reached Spencer and was now hugging her. There was no backing down now. Ashley took a deep breath and wished she had a drink in hand because she definitely could use a little courage right about now.

After a few words exchanged, Madison started gesturing at the Davies sisters still across the street. And this time, there was no more escape. Spencer's eyes linked directly to the brown eyes that had broken her heart 5 years ago. Shock was evident on Spencer's face and Ashley could have sworn, she saw fear as well. After all these years, she could still read Spencer's like an open book and the confident attitude that the blonde was sporting 2 minutes prior seemed to have left her body when she saw Ashley for the first time in 5 years.

Ashley felt Kyla's hand suddenly into her own and they started making their way across the street. Everything seemed to be in slow motion for Ashley as she walked towards Spencer, her heart was beating widly resonating in her ears. She was nervous, she was certain she was going to be sick. She took another deep breath trying to calm herself. Spencer waited next to Madison and was still looking deeply at the older brunette, probably trying to find out if Ashley was as nervous as she was right now.

And finally, Kyla and Ashley reached Madison and Spencer. A few seconds of awkward silence, suddenly broken by Kyla.

"Spence! Oh My God! It's been such a long time." Kyla said, a little too high-pitched for Ashley's taste because it was betraying Kyla's nervousness. When Kyla was nervous, her voice tended to take that high-pitch tone. It was unmistakable for the people who knew her and Ashley noticed Spencer was perfectly aware of it by the way she smiled at Kyla.

"Hey, Ky!" Spencer said hugging Kyla. At the sound of her deep voice, Ashley's heart missed a beat. She hadn't realised how much she had missed hearing Spencer's voice, always soothing her when she needed it. The goosebumps on her arms as Spencer spoke proved that much. With Spencer, her reactions were always physical, the girl had always had such an effect on her. It was disarming sometimes.

When Spencer turned towards Ashley, blue eyes looking directly into brown eyes, burning into her soul, Ashley's mind couldn't help itself. It flashed back at the last time she saw those blue eyes so close to her. The way Spencer had looked at her, so heartbroken, eyes empty, no emotion passing through them. Ashley felt guilty at the thought, how could she have caused such a thing ? Ashley looked into these eyes and she saw that the spark was back, _her_ Spencer was back. And yet, something was different and Ashley couldn't quite read it yet.

"Ash." Was all that Spencer said, her voice so warm almost trembling. The way the nickname rolled of her tongue was better than everything Ashley had ever imagined. Because this time it was real and not her imagination running wild. "It's good to see you" she added so softly, just above a whisper. The tone of her voice made Ashley realise that she wasn't the only one nervous after all. And that gave her the courage she needed.

"Hi Spence. Good to see you too." Ashley answered and she was surprised she said it in such a steady voice. The hug that followed between the two exes was a little awkward to say the least but Ashley's heart soared at the unique smell that was Spencer. Such a familiar scent that caused a rush of adrenaline and a shiver ran through Ashley's entire body. Only Spencer had ever been able to trigger such a physical reaction from her body. And Ashley wasn't about to complain about the return of such familiar sensations.

"How have you been ?" Spencer continued. Sure the conversation felt a little awkward but what else to expect when you haven't seen the girl you're still in love with in 5 years.

"I've been...good. You ?" Ashley answered a little unsure.

"Good." Followed again by another awkward silence, only to be broken by Madison clearing her throat not so subtly.

"So, Spencer. Are you free right now ?" asked Madison. "We could play catch up a little, I haven't talked to you in months."

"Well, I guess I've been busy and you've been busy as well." Spencer answered. "But, yes I'd love to. Except not right now, I have a meeting in half an hour, so I have to go."

"Well, are you free tonight ?" asked Kyla. "Because Ash and I have an apartment not far from here, you could come by tonight."

Spencer looked directly at Ashley who insisted on remaining silent. "If that's Ok with Ash. I'd like to, yes."

Before Ashley could utter a word, Kyla was putting her arm on her shoulder and was answering for her. "Of course, it's okay with Ash." Ashley couldn't do anything but nod. And at the look the blonde gave her, she finally found her voice again. "Yeah, Spence. I'd love to, it's been so long."

Spencer smiled warmly at her and this time Ashley recognized the smile. A smile she had only for Ashley and no one else. Ashley felt herself blush, she realized that _also_ hadn't happen in a long time. Damn, Spencer was good. In a matter of 3 minutes, she was creating all these sensations coursing through Ashley. And Ashley couldn't help herself anymore, she broke into a wide smile.

"Anyway..." Spencer said "I have to go. Mads you have my number, text me the adress. I'll be there around 8 pm if that's ok with you guys."

"Yes, don't worry. So it's a plan." Said Kyla.

"So, I'll see you tonight." Finished Spencer while putting on her helmet and finally pulling out of her parking spot. Ashley couldn't help but shudder at the view, Spencer Carlin on a motorcycle was a sight to behold.

When Spencer had disappeared from view, Ashley felt someone smack her on the back of her head.

"Hey, what's wrong with you ?" Ahsley asked at the guilty party, aka her beloved sister.

"What's wrong with ME ? More like what's wrong with YOU ? Since when are you this flustered around Spencer. Where is the confident Ashley ? You looked like a lost puppy back there."

Ashley sighed. "I know, but give me a break, I was shocked. This was the last thing I expected today, to be honest and I couldn't handle it. So, apparently "_confident Ashley_" decided to take a vacation."

"Well, you better bring your A game tonight, _chica_!" chimed in Madison. "Because Spencer is not the lost girl she was back then. She's sporting a whole new attitude and you might be in for a few surprises, let me tell you."

Ashley and Kyla looked at her with mouths wide opened. Madison chuckled. "You know girls, just because you haven't been in touch with her for the past 5 years, doesn't mean I haven't also. She's my friend as much as you guys are. So, I probably know more about her right now than you do."

Ashley sighed because it was probably true. She knew nothing about _that_ Spencer. But deep inside, she was jumping for joy. How many chances do you get to discover again with new eyes the person you know you're meant to be with. It would be like getting a second chance to start all over again. But Ashley also knew that this wasn't going to be a walk in the park because even if they could start all over again, the past wasn't erased, it was still here, waiting patiently for someone to come looking for it. And sure enough, they were all heading in that direction...


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N****: In know this update is looooooong overdue. The only thing I can do is apologize for the few months without update. Anyway, I'm back full time on this story now. **

**Part ****3.3 – New York City**

Ashley was nervous to say the least, she kept changing her outfit. Nothing she owned seemed good enough. Casual or not ? How was she supposed to dress ? She sighed furiously trying to ease the tension that had overcome her entire body. She had never felt like this in her entire life. Wrong, scratch that... She had felt like this before and honestly she hadn't liked it the first time. So why would she now ? She had felt this frustration after her first meeting with Spencer.

Ashley had wanted Spencer the first moment she saw her but Spencer was confused and didn't know what to do about the newfound information that she was into girls. That had irritated Ashley because she wasn't used to that feeling of wanting someone so much it actually hurt and so she tried to push Spencer. What a mistake it had been! Trying to kiss Spencer while playing with Aiden, what kind of dumbass does that ? Well, apparently Ashley Davies. Thankfully, Spencer had a brain and some common sense and had put a stop to it before it went any further. That would have been a big mistake. Her first kiss with her girl in front of a drooling idiot. No, their first kiss had been magical, in the privacy of her home and with just the two of them. Perfect, no other words could sum it up. The whole night had been perfect. Ashley started getting lost in her memories when she was rudely interrupted by Kyla calling her from the kitchen.

So, back to the task at hand, getting dressed. Ashley took a deep breath, it didn't matter what she wore. That wasn't what it was about. Before dressing to impress, she needed to see where all this was going. Ashley had never been so lost in her entire life. When she met Spencer all those years ago, she was nervous, but she had an objective in mind, a goal: Get Spencer, no matter what. Because when something like that comes along, you don't ask questions, you just go for it. Sure, there had been doubts and ultimatums given but in the end Ashley went for it and it had turned into the best thing that ever happened to her. But tonight was different, Ashley didn't know what she wanted, should she try again or should she leave it at that ? Maybe just be friends.... Ashley laughed at the thought. Like they ever could ! It was impossible, they had never been just friends and Ashley didn't think they could. They would always be more than that and it suited them fine.

Finally, Ashley decided that casual dressing was going to be fine, tight jeans and purple top. Simple, no need to impress. So, after changing one more time into a white tee and black sleeveless vest, she headed in the kitchen to help Kyla.

Madison arrived a little after 6pm and couldn't help but notice that Ashley was practically bouncing off the walls.

"Calm down, Ash. Everything will be fine." She chuckled.

"Easy for you to say, you're the one that scared me in the first place." Glared Ashley.

"Ok. Sorry about that. Spencer may have changed a little but she's still Spencer. You're not meeting her evil twin, so relax."

"And let me remind you that Spencer and I didn't part in the best of terms."

"So what ? She was perfectly friendly in the street earlier. She had 5 years to get over it." At these words, Madison cursed herself mentally for letting her mouth run without asking her brain for permission. She saw Ashley's face fall. "I didn't mean it like that Ash..."

"No, you're right. She's probably over me by now. Probably has a perfect girlfriend because let's face it, who wouldn't go after Spence. She's everything a girl could ask for."

"Ash, I'm sorry. I meant she had 5 years to get over her bitterness and anger towards you. And that's why she was perfectly friendly to you. Spencer always had a forgiving nature, especially with you. You always were her Achille's heel and I bet that hasn't changed at all."

Ashley smiled at Madison and sat back on the couch, deciding that Spencer would be here soon enough. There was no need to get all tensed up. But that was harder than she thought and by the time Spencer finally knocked at the door, Ashley had completely psyched herself out.

"This is a mistake." She whispered to Kyla before the girl got up to open the door.

"It's not. Stop being so damn negative all the time. You need this, she needs this. So stop being so scared for god's sake." Kyla said. Ashley's behavior was starting to get on her nerves.

Kyla opened the door to reveal a blonde goddess behind it, well at least to Ashley, that's what she was. The smile that was gracing Spencer's features sent butterflies in Ashley's stomach. Like she needed any more butterflies, she was perfectly fine with the ones already there. Kyla hugged Spencer, followed by Madison. Ashley had one moment of panick when she saw Spencer moving towards her. She looked at Kyla who was mouthing something to her but Ashley couldn't decipher what she was saying. That's when everything inside her started to calm down and the fear that had invaded her body was slowly retreating. She made her way towards Spencer. A hug would do, but slightly less awkward than the one they shared in the street earlier that day.

As she hugged her girl, Ashley took her time to relish in it. She had missed having her arms around Spencer. As a couple, they were both very touchy feely always having their hands on each other. That's the way they communicated most of the time. She felt Spencer tighten her grip on her but it was so subtle that she couldn't say if it was real or her imagination playing tricks on her. As their eyes locked, Ashley just knew that it hadn't been her imagination. The emotion reflected in Spencer's eyes was real and Ashley felt a little relieved that she hadn't completely lost her ability to read Spencer.

As the night went on, Ashley definitely saw what Madison had been talking about. It's not that Spencer was different, it's just that the girl was more confident and it could be seen in the way she talked and even in the way she moved. And it made sense after all. All those years with Ashley, Spencer was always the more reserved one, more discreet somehow. But it was mainly because of Ashley's outgoing personality. Ashley always attracted more attention, she was more outspoken and in comparison, Spencer always seemed quiet and reserved.

And Ashley definitely liked this new side of Spencer. At times during the evening, she saw a little bit of the old Spencer, especially with some of the looks they exchanged. It gave Ashley hope somehow that after all Spencer hadn't completely changed. Kyla had been her usual self, asking questions after questions while Ashley had been mostly quiet, listening to Spencer's answer, interjecting once in a while. She had learned that Spencer was in New York because a friend of hers who owned a gallery wanted to expose some of Spencer's photos, to which Spencer had agreed. She had learned many things about Spencer's trip around the world, and she also learned that Spencer was also much more relaxed, almost zen-like. Spencer had always been a planner, not wanting life to surprise her, but now she was more into a "Carpe Diem" type of life.

After dinner, while the girls were chatting away, Ashley used this opportunity to escape on the balcony, needing some fresh air. She was glad that Spencer was back into her life, but it was definitely more painful than she expected. She knew it would be, but she didn't how much it would actually hurt. And apparently, it hurt more than not having her at all in her life. And now, she had the feeling that she had thrown her life away by breaking up with Spencer even if she knew she had done it for the right reasons. Shaking her head, trying to chase those thoughts away, she heard the glass doors open and without looking, she knew it was Spencer.

"Hey." Spencer said quietly

"Hey back!" Ashley answered, smiling.

"What are you doing here ?"

"Oh, you know getting some fresh air."

They locked eyes and one thing was certain, Ashley saw no bitterness or anger in Spencer's eyes and that's one thing she had been afraid of. That Spencer wouldn't forgive her for what she had done 5 years ago. She only saw understanding in Spencer's eyes and that made her heart jump in happiness. A couple of minutes passed while the girls remained silent, next to each other.

"It's weird, isn't it ?" Spencer finally said.

"Yeah. Meeting you today was the last thing I expected." Ashley chuckled.

"That's why you're being so quiet."

"Probably. It's just, you know, so much to take in. To be honest with you Spence, I don't even know where to start."

"I know what you mean. Don't think it's easy for me, because it's not. I may be as lost as you are."

"I don't know, you seemed quite talkative back there." Ashley laughed.

Spencer playfully slapped her arm, "Well, with Kyla asking me all those questions, it would have been rude to remain quiet. Plus, it's easier with her. I don't have as much history with her as I have with you."

"She hasn't changed, has she ?" Ashley said.

"Nope, she's still the same bubbly girl she was back in high school." Spencer laughed.

A comfortable silence settled again between them as Ashley took in a seat in one of the chairs. Looking inside, she saw that Kyla and Madison were cleaning up the table and when Kyla caught Ashley's eyes, the younger girls gave her two thumbs up. Ashley shook her head, chuckling softly.

"But you have." Suddenly said Spencer.

"Have what ?" Ashley answered a little bit confused.

"Changed. I can see it. You seem more grounded."

"I like to think that I am, that I have learned from my mistakes."

"You definitely seem like it, anyway."

"I'm not the only one who has changed. I like this new side of you. You definitely seem more relaxed."

"Well, what can I say. I also learned from my mistakes."

Another bit of silence seemed to have taken over once again, but it wasn't uncomfortable. On the contrary, it was peaceful.

"Spence..." Ashley said after a while.

"Not tonight, Ash." Spencer answered, knowing exactlly what was in Ashley's mind. If Ashley still remained able to read Spencer, it was the same for Spencer. She knew at the tone of Ashley's voice where this was going. "Let's just enjoy this." She said. "We'll talk, I promise. Just not tonight."

"Ok." Said Ashley nodding in understanding.

"So, when are you going back on tour ? I heard the last one was interrupted."

"In a couple of months, we're starting with London. And you, when are you leaving the country again ?"

"Well, I do have one small assignment that will take me to Iceland in a couple of weeks for three weeks, after that who knows ?

"You definitely have changed. That is so not like you, the not knowing part."

"Yeah, well I learned to deal with it. At the beginning, it wasn't easy, but I managed. I do get to see some extraordinary things and meet extraordinary people."

"You look happy." Just said Ashley. She said it so softly, it was almost a whisper.

Spencer remained quiet, not really answering partly because she didn't know if she was truly happy. Sure, she was living her dream, but was she happy ? Inside, she always felt like something was missing. While she knew what it was, she never admitted it to anyone out loud.

"So, what's up with the bike ?" Ashley laughed, trying to change the subject. "Because Spencer Carlin on a bike, that threw me off a little, I have to admit. You used to hate those things, if I remember correctly."

"Courtesy of Mr Dennison." Spencer smiled.

"Aiden ?" Ashley said surprised.

"Yes. A few years ago, I was in San Francisco and he taught me how to ride." Spencer said, her voice shaking a little at the memory. She had been there after Ashley had broken up with her. At first, she was with her family but they were treating her as if she was made of glass and she had been getting sick of this, so she packed her bags and headed up to California and ended up on Aiden's doorstep. She had spent a couple of months with him and he managed to get her back up on her feet. It took time, but Aiden never gave up, forcing her to go out and meet people. "And after that, I decided to get my license and bought that bike at an auction."

"Well, remind me to thank him." She smiled.

"Why is that ?" Spencer asked with a smirk.

"Because you look damn hot on that thing." Ashley answered with a smirk of her own.

"And that's the Ashley we all know and love." Spencer smacked her playfully.

After this, the girls went back inside and finished the night with Kyla and Madison. After their small talk, Ashley seemed a little more at ease.

Spencer left an hour later with Madison.

"So, what did you guys talk about ?" Kyla asked Ashley as soon as both girls were out the door.

"Nothing much..."

"What do you mean, nothing much, you spent half an hour with her alone ?" The tone that Kyla used wa snot lost on Ashley and she knew exactly what her sister was trying to do.

"Kyla, we just started reconnecting, I'm not going to push her into something that she's not ready for. Hell, something **I'm** not even ready for."

"But.."

"No but, Ky. Stop pushing for something that may not happen at all. I know you want me back with Spencer, but things are very complicated. It's been 5 years, what did you expect ?" Ashley said a little aggravated by her sister's pushy behavior.

"Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad. But I know where you're going with this. And it's too soon, way too soon." Kyla nodded in understanding.

"Plus, I don't know if you're aware of this, but there is one subject we have been avoiding all evening." Ashley said suddenly.

"What do you mean ?" the younger brunette asked, a little confused.

"Nobody even asked Spencer if she was still single ? And Spencer didn't ask me either. As far as she knows, I could have someone and same for her."

"But you don't have anyone." Kyla said.

"Yeah, but Spencer doesn't know that." Ashley just said. Although, she had a feeling that Spencer didn't inquire about her status for the same reasons Ashley didn't ask about hers. The answer to that question could be hurtful in more ways than one.

"Anyway, are you planning to have her back in your life full time ?" Kyla asked hopeful.

"We're taking things slow. I'm meeting her tomorrow for coffee, and she's taking me to her place to see some of the pictures she plans to expose."

Kyla smiled at this news. Both girls were willing to give it a shot. At least in the friendship department. Now, it was only a matter of time, because she knew the chemistry those two had. She had witnessed it for years, had envied it so much and now that they were back in each other's lives, it was unthinkable to Kyla that they wouldn't get back together.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Here is another chapter. Appreciating the comments, glad you like it. You guys are the best. Keep it coming.**

**Part ****4 – London, UK , **_**2 months later**_

Ashley was pacing in her dressing room, cell phone in hand. She had been waiting for Spencer's call all evening.

Over the last two months, the girls had spent most of their free time together. Turns out that Spencer had been single, much to Ashley's relief. She really couldn't imagine what it would be like to see Spencer in someonelse's arms. Knowing that it had been the case was already hard enough to handle but actually witnessing it was a whole new ball game. So she was glad that Spencer was not dating anyone or if she was, she was definitely keeping it from Ashley.

So, except for those three weeks when Spencer was in Iceland, they had seen each other almost everyday. And Ashley realised that she had missed Spencer's friendship during all those years. The fun, the laughs and the good moments overall. Sure their friendship always had something more, underlining of flirting, but right now, friendship was enough. The only low point is that in those 2 months, they still hadn't talked about what had happened between them. Spencer tried to initiate it a couple of times, but seeing Ashley's reluctance, she never pushed it. The fact is that Ashley didn't even know where to start and how to make amends for what she had done 5 years earlier. And now, she was getting antsy, wanting to put the past to rest and move forward. She was ready to have the talk but Spencer had been quite busy in the last couple of weeks, her expo had just started and was getting very good reviews and Ashley had been intensely preparing for her tour over the last month, rehearsing every day.

As she was about to start the first concert of the tour, she was waiting for Spencer's call as the blonde had promised to call to say good luck before the brunette went on stage. And speaking of, she was due on stage in 5 minutes now. Ashley sighed, disappointed, it was obvious that the call wouldn't come. She put her phone back in her purse, got out of the dressing room and followed the halls leading to the stage. The thousands of screaming fans were anxiously waiting the arrival of their idol. As the lights went out and the intro started, Ashley was just behind the stage waiting to make her entrance. When, she felt some movement behind her, she turned around, only to be met with blue eyes loking back at her. Spencer was running towards her.

"Whew, thank god I got here before you went on." Spencer said amost out of breath.

"Wh... Wh.. What are you doing here ?" Ashley asked completely stunned.

"I wanted to surprise you !" Spencer said a huge smile gracing her face. "So! Surprise!" she added laughing. "I should have gotten here earlier, but Ty put a new guy at the security checkpoint tonight and he didn't know who I was and wouldn't let me in and I had to get Kyla. Anyway, long story short, here I am!"

Ashley couldn't help but smile back to Spencer. This was totally Spencer, always showing up when you're not expecting her. "Thanks Spence, that means a lot to me." She just said, rooted to her spot.

Spencer took a step forward and engulfed Ashley in a hug. "Anyway, good luck, and make me proud!" she whispered in her ear sending shivers and tingles all over Ashley's body.

In this particular second, Ashley was so taken by Spencer that she would have missed her cue if it weren't for Ethan suddenly appearing at her side and breaking the sweet moment between the girls.

"Ash, come on, time to go on and light that fire!"

"yeah, yeah, I'm going!" Ashley told him.

Ashley flashed Spencer a huge smile. "So, I'll see you after the show." She asked.

"Definitely."

And with that, Ashley made her way to the stage and Spencer watched her ex-girlfriend do what she was best at. The thousands of screams intensified when Ashley finally appeared on the stage. Spencer was in awe, she always had been. Ashley on stage was one of her favorite things, the girl just had something and you just couldn't tear your eyes away from her.

"She's back in full force." She heard someone say from behind her. Spencer turned around and saw Ethan.

"It looks like it." She smiled at the young man.

"Thanks." He just said.

"Why? I didn't do anything."

"You're here and that means the world to her. Don't think I can't see what's been going on with her but she's my client and I have to do what is best for her, but I'm not completely insensitive."

"What do you mean ?"

"You've been back in her life for what, 2 months and already I can see the change. It's like we have the old Ashley back, the one that had energy, the one who used to love doing what she's doing right now, just for the fun of it and not just because it was her job requirement.

Look at her, Spence. She's glowing right now."

"I know." She simply said.

"Anyway, I just wanted to thank you because you showing up tonight is really what she needed."

"You're welcome."

"How long are you staying ? You're coming to Dublin with us ?"

"No, I can't. I'm leaving tomorrow for Sydney. One of the journalists is running a story on aboriginal people and I'm supposed to go with him to take pictures, I just wanted to be here for her premiere."

"Ok. Anyway, I have to go speak with some journalists of my own, so I'll see you later."

Spencer spent the rest of the concert, her eyes on Ashley watching her every move. A little more than 2 hours later, Spencer was waiting alongside Kyla for the band to come in the dressing room. The concert had been spectacular and congratulations were in order. The whole team was here and when the band led by Ashley came in, a spontaneous round of applause started. Ashley laughed as Kyla jumped in her arms.

"That was amazing, Ash. It was probably one of your best concert ever."

"Really. I felt good, you know." She told her sister. Kyla couldn't help but see the subtle look that Ashley had for Spencer and smiled knowingly.

Kyla left to congratulate the rest of the band and Ashley made her way to Spencer.

"So, what did you think ? Like it ."

"Liked it. No. Loved it. Ash, you were awesome. I have no words, it was amazing. " Spencer beamed, a huge smile forming from ear to ear.

"Thanks." Ashley smiled almost overwhelmed by a sudden shyness at Spencer's praise. After all, Spencer's opinion always meant a lot to her and when they were together, she always brought her best so she could made Spencer proud.

"This is probably one of your best performance to date. It feels like you're back in the game, you know."

"Are you saying that my other concerts sucked." Ashley laughed.

"No, Ash. I'm just saying, you put more heart into it and it showed. At least, compared to your last concert in Liverpool." Spencer continued.

"I'm not so sure you are qualified to say that, that was 2 years ago, you weren't there." Ashley chuckled.

Spencer hesitated for a second and Ashley seemed confused. "You're right." Spencer smiled softly.

Ashley was looking at Spencer, "You weren't there, were you ?" she asked, her voice almost breaking at the sudden realization that Spencer may have been there after all.

Spencer did not know what to answer. "I never broke the tradition." She admitted.

Ashley was a little stunned at the confession Spencer just made out of the blue. "So, you've been there at every beginning of my tours. That's why you're here today."

"Yes." She just answered. "Ash, you know I love what you do and I support you 100 percent and you and I not being together anymore hasn't changed that. I'm proud of you because you are good at what you do and you are really talented and I genuinely like your music."

"Why didn't you tell me ?"

"To say what." She paused not sure she should continue. "Ash, I don't think this is the place for this right now." She said looking around her and seeing Ethan, Kyla, the band members, the security guards.

"Spence..." Ashley just said letting the rest of the sentence die.

She was overwhelmed to say the least. She really didn't know how to take all this. It was all confusing. She looked into the blue eyes that used to tell her everything. The thing is that those blue eyes were looking back with the same intensity. For a second there, everything went quiet and both girls were lost into their own world. Ashley wanted nothing more than reach for Spencer and kiss those lips that had never seemed so appealing before. And by the way she saw Spencer's breath become a little more rapid, she knew the blonde felt the same way.

Ashley tentatively took a step towards Spencer and the blonde didn't move. Instead, she took a deep breath and decided to throw caution to the wind and reach for Ashley's hand. The electricity that seem to spark was overtaking their entire bodies. They had forgotten where they were and who they were with. Right now, they were the only ones on earth and nothing else mattered. They both knew what was coming and none of them seemed to want anything else.

As Spencer made another bold move, they were both suddenly shaken out of their trance as Ethan appeared at Ashley's side.

"Ashley, time for the meet and greet with some of the fans." He said, apparently oblivious to the moment he just interrupted.

Ashley looked at him, glaring. She could kill him right now. She looked at Spencer and the girl was looking back just as sadly.

"We need to talk, Ash." She said. "But not tonight."

"Ok.?" Ashley asked. Ethan was waiting for her by the door and was now gesturing at her. "When?"

"When are you getting back in the States."

"In three weeks. The last concert will be in Paris and after I'm coming back."

"We'll talk then." Spencer said smiling.

"I have to go." Ashley told her. Will I see you after ?"

"Yes. I'll be there when you come back. But my flight tomorrow is bright and early, so I have to get up at 4, that means I won't stay long."

"Don't worry, Spence. We'll have all the time in the world when I come back." Ahsley said offering her best smile before joining Ethan.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**** No Ashley in this chapter... Anyway, hope you like it. As always, appreciate the feedback and I will try to update a little more regularly but the workload I have kinda takes priority over that, so sometimes I don't have much free time to update. Anyway, I'll try to do better. **

**Part ****5 – Columbus, Ohio , **_**2 weeks later**_

"Hey, do you want ice with your soda?" Glen asked, his head peering out of the kitchen.

"Yep, thanks. So when is Amy coming back ?"

"She'll be back in two days."

"So how you doing with all that wedding stuff ?" Spencer asked laughing while holding up a book about ways to make your wedding perfect.

"Hey, don't laugh! It's not easy organizing a wedding. I'm fine with it, it's just Mom who drives me crazy. Well, to be honest, I think she drives Amy crazy too. "

"I bet, she does." Spencer laughed.

"I don't know how Amy does it, honestly. I'm the guy so they tend to let me be most of the time, so I'm kind of lucky in that way. The other day, Mom and Amy argued for hours about flower arrangements. Plus, since Mom and Dad and Amy's parents are splitting the cost of this wedding, they're all putting in their two cents, so sometimes it's a little bit much."

"I can imagine." Answered Spencer.

"Well, stop smiling like an idiot, because Mom is going to be on your case pretty soon."*

Spencer stopped smiling for a second. "What... Why?"

"Your dress! You're my best man..."

"Best Woman!" Spencer interrupted.

"Whatever! Anyway, Mom already has some ideas about your dress and man! they're ugly dresses!"

"Ugh!" just sighed Spencer knowing her mother was about to wreck havoc on her life for the next month. "I hate you, you know that!"

Glen laughed "Yeah, I know!"

2 hours later, Spencer and Glen were sitting in a restaurant sharing lunch and enjoying each other's company. After Clay's death, the two siblings had become closer than ever and made a point in seeing each other regularly when their respective schedules allowed it.

"So, how's the job doing ?" Glen asked, a glass of wine in his hand.

"Well, it couldn't be better. Just got back from Australia and David, the journalist I told you about wrote a great article. So, the editor wants to do a whole series of articles on natives all around the world. So, it means that David and I will be gone often over the next months."

"Hey, no bailing on my wedding, you hear me!" Glen smiled.

"Glen, come on, I would never do that!" Spencer said a little offended."

"I know, I was just joking. Anyway, met anyone lately."

"Lots of people, I meet new people every day." Spencer said seriously.

"Stop it, smartass. I meant girl wise and you know it."

"Nope, no one." She said.

"I'm asking because Amy knows this girl and..."

"Whoa, stop right there Mister! I don't need Amy to set me up on dates."

"No, she was just saying that maybe since you're single, this girl could be your date for the wedding."

"Forget it, Glen. I'm not going to your wedding with some girl I don't know. Besides, I don't need a date for your wedding. I can perfectly go by myself."

"Ok, ok, don't bite my head off, I was just relaying the message." Glen said.

"Right. Then tell her thank you but no thank you!" Spencer said as their food arrived.

"Anyway, speaking of the wedding, I just wanted to warn you about something." Glen said looking very serious all of a sudden.

"What ?" Spencer said.

"Well, I kinda invited Ashley and Kyla." Glen said so fast that Spencer could barely understand what he said.

"I know." Spencer simply said.

Glen arched an eyebrow in confusion.

"How do you know ? Mom told me that they didn't tell you anything because they didn't know how you were going to react and they wanted me to tell you. "

Spencer took a deep breath because she knew that the news she was about to share was going to shock her brother in some way."

"Ashley told me." She said looking in her brother's eyes.

Glen almost choked on his chicken. "What do you mean Ashley told you ? Since when you and Ashley are in speaking terms?"

"Well, Ashley and I have been in speaking terms, as you say, for about two months now."

"Whaaat ?" Glen asked, his voice sudenly becoming high pitched. "Why didn't you tell me ?"

"I'm telling you now." Spencer said, playing with her fork suddenly finding her food very interesting.

"Well, yeah, because I brought the subject of Ashley."

"I ran into Kyla, Ashley and Madison a couple months back and we started reconnecting, I just wanted to keep it to myself for a while and see where this was going. You know how I was after she broke up with me and I was so angry at her for such a long time, I just wanted to wait."

"I understand but still you could have told me. But now it makes sense!" He smiled.

"What makes sense ?" Spencer asked arching an eyebrow.

"You. I don't know, you seem different and I'm guessing Ashley has something to do with that." He shrugged.

"Well, to be completely honest with you, Ashley and I kinda had a moment."

"A moment of what ?" Glen asked causing Spencer to roll her eyes and shake her head at her brother.

"A moment, moment, you know. I was in london for her first concert and I'm pretty sure if Ethan hadn't interrupted us, we would have kissed."

"Ah, that kind of moment. And Did you want to kiss her ?"

"So badly, you don't even know. I really thought I was over her, but after those two months I'm even more confused than ever. She definitely changed and for the better. And even with all her faults, I always found her almost irresistible. I just can't help myself when I'm around her and that confuses the hell out of me." Spencer finished in a defeated sigh.

"What are you going to do ?" Glen asked knowing that his sister was probably lost. He remembered when she came back after her break up with Ashley. He had never seen her so defeated. It's like she had lost the will to live and Glen really didn't know what to do. Although, he had hated Ashley at the beginning, what he never told his sister is that he had gone to see her, to let her know what he thought of her and basically that she could go to hell. But when he saw her, he changed his mind. Ashley was almost in an even worse state than Spencer. They talked for hours and he understood what drove her decision. He felt a little bit angry at her for basically breaking his sister but nevertheless he understood what she was saying.

"I don't know, Glen. You see, I was doing fine until she reappeared in my life. Now, it's like everything has changed."

"You were doing FINE ?" Glen asked smirking.

"Yes, fine!"

"Excuse me, Spence but when's the last time you had a date?"

"Ok, so I hadn't had a date in quite a while, but I was fine on my own. Sometimes, I like to be by myself. Jeez, you're starting to sound like Mom and Dad. "_You know, Spence, you should get out more often, meet girls, blah blah blah_..."

"Ok, ok. Sorry. So, we were talking about Ashley." Quickly said Glen not wanting to argue with his sister.

"Yeah. Ashley." Spencer sighed, thoughts invading her mind. Why was she vulnerable when it came to Ashley freakin' Davies ? When she was around Ashley, all the confidence it had taken her years to build just went out the window. The fist time she saw her after 5 years, all she wanted to do was run away so she didn't have to face her. Instead, she put on a brave front and try to act as cool as she could. But the new mature and grown up Ashley had taken her by surprise and before she knew it, they were once again hanging out almost everyday, just like they were back in high school.

The thing is, friendship, she could handle but when other thoughts started to plague her mind, that's when she was at a loss. She remembered the way it hurt when Ashley gave up on her, the way it hurt when she took a tabloid to see Ashley in the front page hanging with some starlet or groupie, knowing that she had probably slept with her. Although, she had no rights to Ashley anymore, she couldn't help but still feel that pang of jealousy. And that made her quite uncomfortable because of what it meant. That maybe, despite her best efforts, she wasn't completely over her and she would probably never be.

And that almost kiss, a couple of weeks back threw her in for a loop. After the meet and greet, they spent their evening with so many people just to avoid an awkward talk. And the few phone calls over the last two weeks, they had avoided the subject altogether. They had become masters at this over the last two months, not talking about what needs to be talked. Why ? Fear of re-opening old wounds, fear that maybe Ashley was just playing with her.

"Do you want to get back with her ?" she heard Glen say, interrupting her thoughts.

"No. Yes. No. Maybe. God! I don't know." She said in a desperate voice.

"Spence, all I can tell you is that you need to talk with her, really talk with her, sort this out. You need a fresh start and get over what happened all those years ago."

"Easy for you to say."

"I know and in your shoes, I wouldn't probably know what to do. But you know that you still have to do it. And if friendship is all that you want from Ashley, then you also need to start with a clean slate and not hold anything against her. And the best way to do that...."

"Is talk with her, I know. You're so insightful these days, it scares me."

"I know, I've grown up. I wonder when this happened." He laughed.

"And you're getting married." She smiled.

"That, I am." He just answered.

"I wish Clay were here to see that."

"Me too, baby sis."

"So, what kind of ugly dress are we talking about ?" she asked making a face trying to lighten up the mood.


End file.
